I read somewhere that you have an iq of 93, which makes you slightly less clever than a gorilla, although probably quite a bit cleverer than an elephant. Is that true and if so how does that make you feel?
—GreatSheElephant, London

Ms. GreatSheElephant, I'm glad you asked that.

Folks have been making fun of my intelligence all along and I'm starting to resent it. So let me just set the record straight.

Throughout college, my marks were always within the TOP THREE quartiles of the class. If that don't tell you something, nothing will.