I understand you have a plan for winning the War in Iraq. Care to share it with us?
—R. Little

Mr. or Ms. Little, I'm glad you asked that.

I have a jim dandy plan for winning the War.

When America first went into Iraq, we had shock and awe. We just bombed the living heck out of those folks. Then after a few weeks, we just quit the shocking and awing. I think that's been our problem.

We've got to go back to doing what we do best, which is bombing and killing a lot more Iraqis. I mean how do we ever expect to beat Iraq in this war if we're not killing a lot more of them people?

So under my plan, we've set a quota for the military — 10,000 Iraqis dead per week until they say Uncle. I believe this is what America's been waiting for.